Monday, May 08, 2006

Sometimes it snows in May

When I was younger I found that I derived most of my wisdom from song lyrics. Thankfully, God grabbed my heart at a very young age and I no longer subscribe to the insight of Kurt Cobain ("Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam") or Alanis Morisette ("I'm here to remind you of the mess you made, when you went away"). As I was growing I quickly was drawn to the lyrics of a little, wonderful band named, Waterdeep.
I can almost recall the moment when my heart was changed. I was at a Waterdeep concert and this song sang out about the ever pressing desire to "be known."
"I used to bathe in tears at night 'cause I felt like I was on my own. I used to think that I would never be completely known. I used to hold on tightly to the sorrows that I owned. But they were all I knew, they had run me through, and they had left me here all alone."

I was caught off guard by those lines. So much so that I had snot all over my pants where I had brought my knees up to my face to hide my emotions from those around me. I couldn't fathom someone wanting to accept me for ALL that I was, but still I recognized the desire to be known in such a real way. To be seen for every thing I had done, for all the times I messed up, and to be given credit for the things no one else seemed to notice. I was in love with God for the mere fact that he was in love with me. In real love with me.

I continued to take up many pearls of wisdom over the years from every new and great album Waterdeep released. And today I recalled some lyrics that never meant much to me as a 16 year old, at least not in the way they do now.
"I talked to a girl I know the other day about her married life, it started just two months ago. She was sayin' it was hard, She don't know if they'll make it through, and I'm thinkin' baby, it ain't even begun to snow."
Of course these lines wouldn't mean much to me at 16. I even remember riding in the car with my mom when this song came on, and she laughed in the way many of you who are married probably just did. With that "tell me about it" scoff under your breath.




Well, after nearly four years under my belt, I completely know what she meant. Two months ain't nothing, wait for the two year blizzard and then we'll talk!
So why did I remember these words today? Ironically, (or wait, is that just a coincidence? Dang Alanis!, she screwed that up for everyone!) I talked to girl I know today, about her married life.
Which started not that long ago.
She let me know that some really hard things had happened and she didn't know what to do. I was able to share in her specific sorrow and understand all too well where she was coming from. I know she was comforted by my surprising solidarity, and honestly, I was glad to finally have some good come from our bad. I could raise the prospect of hope, and believe it to be true because I'm living proof that things really could get better than better. I could tell her I understood how hard it is to love and be in love when it seems that pain always manages to accompany. Where I lack wisdom, Waterdeep prevails. I wished I shared a version of this lyric with her and can only hope she'll read it here.
"Oh, God it hurts so bad to love anyone down here, but oh, that's right, you know so well, one thorny crown, three nails, and a spear."
I hope she knows that God understands how painful love can be. As he had to watch his beloved son die a miserable death, he surely grasped the concept.
But in regards to her situation, I now encourage her (and all of you, for that matter) to become completely known. Mostly with God. But to those who are married, with your spouse. I believe that marriage is designed to give us a taste of the great relationship we are to have with our true love, God. It's a tangible reflection of the amazing oneness we will one day know with our bridegroom. Where we will be completely known, every single dark spot will be revealed and since we called him savior, he will welcome us in to the fullness of his love.
What an amazing opportunity we have, to be fully disclosed and loved all the while. That is where true love exist. Let all your relationships, but especially your marriages be a reflection of this great promise.
In the meantime, when things are hard, and times like these are upon us, I implore you to remember that you are God's precious baby. He wants to "make it all better" and please let him. The last lyric I will quote is my favorite of all time, and I know it's God's heart for us all, but specifically to my wonderful friend whom I love.
"Hush little baby, don't say a word, Daddy's got a great big heaven for you to rest in, he bought with blood and put the seal in your heart, and it'll give you the hope you need to get up and start, again. and again, and again."
As I watched my baby sleep last night, I can only imagine how much more my father sings a million love songs over me.

7 comments:

  1. that was amazing, Lacy. God bless you.

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  2. I can really relate with the want of being completely known be another person (i cryed the same snot wrenching tears after hearing that song). When I knew I wanted to marry Leigh there was a huge pressure for her to know me in such a way. I think I almost tried too hard to push that she "completely know" me. After reading Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz (everyone in the world should read this book), my outlook changed a little. In a coversation with a married friend, Donald's friend tells him the most powerful thing he had learned about marrage was that, "there are places only God can go." This confused me for a while, because of my thinking forever that my wife would be (along with God, of course) the one who would completely know me. This is not to say the our spouses won't know us more than any other person in the world. It just for me takes so much pressure off of Leigh. It's not her job to completely know me. God has known me before time. I have found much comfort and peace in this.

    Wow, that was a lot. Don't ever say I never write anything on your blog.

    Hope you don't feel I'm trying to knock your ideas, cause I'm not. Just shedding some light on my unmarried understand of marriage.

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  3. Just to be even more clarifying, it's more realted to the "not hiding" aspect of being known. I can't tell you what pain comes from having your spouse withhold his life from you. Don't worry I don't feel knocked, I know what I know, and I do know this.

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  4. I've just angered Lacy.

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  5. Look out! How long did it take for you and I to fall back into old habits?
    I'm so not angry.

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  6. Oh brother...kids these days...

    After you've been married so many years you really start to realize how little you really want to know the other person.

    OK...I'm TOTALLY kidding. Actually I think both of you are right. I agree that our spouses not only have the right, but the desire to know us as intimately as possible. But at the same time only God can completely know us.

    In the end, we can't completely know ourselves. However, at times I feel sometimes that Jennette has a better understanding of me than I do. Not a bad deal, really. It's nice to have somebody watching out for you.

    Plus, she's really cute.

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  7. Anonymous5:02 PM CDT

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