There you have it, over a month has gone by without one single post. What's that all about? Oh, so much.
I have a very generous and loving family. At the holidays they shower me with more than I deserve. This year I held on to one of my gift cards because I had a special purchase in mind. I was waiting on said purchase until I had earned it.
I came across a hoodie that had the letters, "BQ", on the front. A hoodie that couldn't be rightfully worn until I had acquired official "BQ" status. I planned on obtaining that rank on April 5, 2008. I was on target to run a 26.2 mile course in Abilene, Kansas in a time of 3:40 or less. The time required to be a qualifier for 2009's running of the 113th Boston Marathon. I ran every day for six months straight. Up at dawn, in the rain, in the wind, in the cold, in the snow, in the sleet, on the ice, in the dark, and even on Christmas.
Boston is the "mecca" of marathons for American runners. It's the oldest running marathon and it's one of the few remaining that require a qualification to get in. I wanted to be one of those runners and from the outside it sure looked like I was in.
I was convinced that the Lord had given me this passion to accomplish this goal for a reason. In my heart I needed to qualify for the race. I needed my son to know that anything is possible for him and I needed him to walk on the shoulders of this dream. I quit taking credit for "my accomplishments" and ended each run with praise to the Lord, thanking him for carrying me all that way at those speeds.
I needed to run 26.2 miles at a pace of 8:20 per mile. As I fought through sickness and emotional struggles, I kept working and on Monday, March 24 I ran my last training run. I ran 22 miles in 2:59. That meant I had ran each mile at an average of 8:10. As my Dad said, "You're in, you could walk the last four miles and still make it in 3:40." I cried as I finished thanking the Lord for giving his kids what they want.
As I look back over my training log, I see that I started noticing a little pain. I even wrote down, "little nagging pain," on the 31st. As many of you know that's the start of the sad end to my story. That nagging pain lead to excruciating pain which lead to a diagnosis of a stress fracture in my inferior ramus. (AKA: I fractured my pelvis #13 on the picture).
To fast forward the story, I didn't run my third marathon on April 5th, I haven't qualified for Boston, I haven't run since April 1, and as of yesterday the Physical Therapist doesn't think I'll be running any marathons this year.
My heart broke over my dream being lost. I was crushed and confused, left questioning all I had believed in. I'm still bummed, but know that this will all be clear one day. I've learned a lot being side lined and I know this journey isn't done.
As I fought back tears, my dear friend assured me, "This doesn't change what you've already done. Judah saw what you did and this doesn't erase that."
I won't stop believing and I'll continue to petition the Lord for his guidance in chasing down my dream.
My physical therapist looked me in the eyes last night and fueled the fire that felt as if it had been extinguished, "You're not a quitter, marathoners are not quitters."
So, maybe just maybe I'll hang on to that gift card. Maybe that BQ will come at the perfect time.